Private Prayer: Can It Reduce Fear?
The worldly mind assumes that private prayer is no different from any other personal relaxation-inducing practice. They ask: ‘Don’t we relax by sitting in a comfortable position, in a calm environment, having something calming to focus our attention and adopting a passive attitude?’
However, most people would agree that private prayer implies a connection to a mysterious sense of presence. This experience is in line with whatever turns out to be the individual image of the transcendent. Those people, who see themselves as spiritual but not religious, tend to think in terms of linking themselves to a creative life force. They call this the universal mind, the higher power, the divine being, or the spiritual source. The Western Christian tradition promotes and values the inner path, fostering the discipline of personal prayer, quiet times, and what is called communion with God.
“Prayer is more than meditation. In meditation, the source of strength is yourself. When you pray, you go to a source of strength greater than your own.” (Madame de Stael, French political theorist)
According to the Tearfund survey, after praying, 38% reported feeling “at peace and content”. This is a state of mind that writers on religion often call for prayer.
So can private prayer really reduce fear? And if so, how? I would suggest that this depends on several factors.
1 Private prayer with love sphere
Sometimes people long for God’s help but don’t ask for it because they believe they only deserve his judgment. They have an idea of a punitive and vengeful God
The way people in distress view their relationships with the compassionate face of God can be a great source of comfort and strength for them. In their darkest hours, many of them are sustained by the belief that they are loved by the source of all that is good and all will be well.
2 Involve your own feelings in private prayer
Going through the motions of a sentence according to what one thinks is one thing. But are the deepest feelings involved? I would suggest that private prayer can only be effective in reducing anxiety if it inspires emotional acceptance and trust in the power of a loving providence.
3 Being genuine in private prayer
The spiritual philosopher Emanuel Swedenborg wrote in his diary about an occasion when he was reading the Lord’s Prayer. He claimed to have psychic awareness. In a mystical state of consciousness, he said he was surprised to notice the spirit of a thief reading it with him. “I observed that he did it with such devotion that I could not tell if he was of the true faith or not… Then he adored the Lord from his heart, so that he could be protected”.
Swedenborg commented that this devotion was short-lived and only lasted as long as the person thought they were in danger. It wasn’t deep. When the danger passed, he was the same thief as before.
We can fool ourselves, we are being honest. But how could self-deception fool an all-seeing, omniscient deity? Private prayer that lacks authenticity would seem like a complete waste of time.
4 Pursue spiritual things in private prayer
In a natural state of anxiety, I can be thinking about what I want: what I want, what benefits me. But when a mundane and self-centered state of mind rules our lives, don’t we close ourselves off to higher perceptions and intuitions?
Private prayer for Christians is to put on the ‘mind of Christ’. This takes them out of themselves and lifts their spirit to a higher level.
5 Seek the divine will in private prayer
Skeptics ask ‘but if there were a loving God, wouldn’t he already be doing everything he could to make things better and not need our prayers as a reminder?’ It is true that in a state of fear we can be desperate for help. For a while it may seem that God is neglecting us or has forgotten about us. We feel we must tell him what to do. But when we start to pray, we soon realize our delusion.
“The function of prayer is not to influence God, but to change the nature of the one who prays.” (to philosophize, Søren Kierkegaard, Danish existential to philosophize, )
6 Humble submission in private prayer
We can feel anxious about our misdeeds, but stop praying for the Christian word ‘sin’. And assume that the humility required of private prayer equals a guilt-ridden basement car.
On the contrary, I would suggest that such an attitude is not required. Instead of judging ourselves as bad in general, we could simply consider just one particular thing we did as bad. It is not me who is unworthy, but something I once wanted.
Having a humble attitude does not prevent us from maintaining a positive attitude towards ourselves. If we believe that the source of all good can be present within each one of us, how can we not recognize it?
7 Adopt a cooperative attitude
Non-believers point out that religious people seem to be expecting a miracle from an imaginary supernatural entity. Yes, I would say that it is a mistake to see prayer as a quick fix for personal fears.
I can start a sentence assuming that whatever needs to be done to remove my fear is completely in God’s hands. But at the end of the sentence I realize that I also need to make a change. In other words, not pray for an earthly miracle but pray for the support and strength to do what is necessary to face my fears.
8 Attributing healing to the Divine
Prayer invites us to attribute calm and peace to the one to whom we pray. Otherwise, we have no choice but to take credit for ourselves. Or attribute a change of mood to luck.
The religious attitude is to attribute the good to a transcendent source of all good. But that is also present at the bottom of our soul.
Conclusion
I just want to be a calm person who feels less anxious about life’s uncertainties. Also feel less anxious about my bad deeds. I have learned that I can trust the universe and its creator, and feel a sense of comfort, calm, and hope.
“God, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”