How Cats Communicate With Each Other: Integrating A New Kitten
Having recently adopted a new kitten, I am fascinated by how adult cats communicate with each other and with a new kitten being added to the family. We humans think of it as body language and vocalizations, but telepathic messages are also transmitted. Those telepathic messages can be just as important as the other forms of communication between felines, and also between you and each of your cats.
For one thing, my two adult cats, “Violet” (Blue Point Siamese) and “Sakhara” (British shorthair striped cameo) got together after the three of us telepathically discussed the idea of a new kitten. Their private conversation took place before the kitten arrived. I found them in my bedroom, one on the floor and the other on the bed. They were both squatting and “staring” at each other like only cats can “star”. AND.
“Family conference?” I got worried.“You are not invited,” they replied in a telepathic chorus.
“Why not?”
“Well, you’re not a cat and you don’t know how to be one. This is a ‘feline only’ gathering.”
A little later I learned that the topic of conversation had been how to raise the new Siamese kitten named “Star”. “Star” was a baby and was still with her mother at the time. The two adult cats were discussing the philosophy of raising kittens and practical concerns about raising a new baby. I was glad that they took my request seriously. I had asked them to help raise the new kitten, so when they excluded me from the deliberations, I decided to honor their decision. At least they were committed to the project.
A few weeks later, just 2 days after “Star” came to our house, I realized that the kitten rearing duties had been split between the two adult cats. “Violet” was in charge of the initial interactions. Twice a day for two of my 4 visits with “Star”, “Violet” follow me to the door of “Star’s” private room and watch from the other side of the door as I care for the 9 week old kitten. These were, in part, telepathic observations, since the door was closed and made of wood with no windows.
Within a few days, “Violet” asked me to let “Star” leave the room to interact with “Violet” in the upstairs hallway that leads between two bedrooms. “Star” had a room. The other room is my bedroom, although “Violet” considers it her pwn.
Watching “Star” and “Violet” interact was fascinating. “Star” wanted to play. “Violet” wanted to teach manners and limits. Each had a separate agenda and the two agendas didn’t exactly line up.
“Star” would try to get “Violet” to play by jumping on “Violet” and fingering her. “Star”, with her back hunched and her tail held high, bounced from side to side, tried to jump on “Violet” and then ran like a thoroughbred racehorse passing “Violet”. Then she would reverse directions and do it all over again.
“Violet” would try to get “Star” to recognize the dominance of the adults by screaming and handcuffing her as her paws got closer.
Slap is when an adult cat uses retracted paws to discipline a kitten. The kitten is supposed to crouch down and even roll over to expose its vulnerable belly as a sign of submission. Handcuffing is not harmful or dangerous. It is just a matter of mastery that is communicated along with a telepathic message, “I am the boss.” Or “Don’t jump on me.” Or “Show some respect.” Or other concepts in that sense.
“Star” would ignore “Violet’s” disciplinary behaviors. “Violet” didn’t have much of an impact with the handcuffs because “Star” was too fast. “Violet” literally couldn’t connect her paw to “Star’s” body. Meanwhile, “Star” kept encouraging “Violet” to chase and fight. The vocalizations of “Violet” were growls-howls, none of which made any impression on “Star.”
They went up and back down the hall and into “Violet’s” territory: my room. “Violet”, who is always very polite and very ladylike, was careful not to enter “Star’s” room at all. This allowed “Star” to have a “safe” place to retreat, if she wished. My body, sitting on the floor watching, also made a safety zone for “Star”, if it felt like it needed one.
“Star” continued to ignore all the rules of the interaction between kittens and adults. So “Violet” often ended the session feeling frustrated and exhausted, but also euphoric. He was having fun playing, but he didn’t want to admit it to “Star”. However, I personally don’t think “Star” missed the excitement of “Violet” or that “Violet” was actually having a good time.
Humans must remember that felines, especially Siamese twins, often make sounds in the same frequency range as the cries of human babies. We tend to think that something is “wrong” when we hear the sounds cats make, while in fact, everything is fine! So I kept an eye out for telepathic messages and visual observations, and checked for any tendency to overreact to “Violet’s” vocalizations.
There were a lot of chases, which pleased “Star” without end. “Star” had an almost permanent smile on her face and radiated love and joy all the time. He kept telling myself after each session, “I LOVE” Violet “”. “Violet” didn’t seem interested in being loved. She wanted to be a good teacher and, to her dismay, “Star” proved to be a very challenging student.
“Star” was also making sounds. But they were shorter and expressed enthusiasm, wonder, joy, enthusiasm and exuberance. “Star” made a wider variety of sounds than I had ever heard from any other cat. Siamese are famous for this, but since “Violet” is a fairly quiet Siamese, the range of sounds coming from “Star” had amazed me since the day she arrived.
When it seemed that “Violet” had had enough for a day, or when I did not have time to supervise them, I ended the session by putting “Star” in her room with plenty of food, water, toys, and the assurance that she would be back a little later. .
One day, having finished a session, I went downstairs while listening to “Star” protest loudly on her side of the door. I made it to the kitchen in time to hear “Violet”, who had stayed at the top of the stairs, yell a long and very loud vocalization. In my head, I heard the telepathic message, “DO YOU WANT TO SHUT UP?” This was followed by complete aural silence from both cats. All that could be heard were the sounds of “Violet” descending into the living room.
When “Sakhara” started her lessons with “Star”, her training style was quite different. As “Star” tried to play with her, “Sakhara” growled fiercely and stood her ground. “Star” couldn’t chase after him, and the growl sounded fierce. “Sakhara” would say telepathically: “Show respect. Here I am dominant.” “Star”, meanwhile, continued to refuse to acknowledge this message in any way. Back arched, tail held high and bouncing tantalizingly, “Star” kept sending telepathically, “Awe, come on. Let’s play, okay?”
“Sakhara” had given birth to a litter of kittens before I adopted her from the Humane Society. She had also been a foster mother to many babies and had actually helped raise “Violet” from a kitten when she first came to live with me. “Sakhara” has strong kitty rearing ideas and a lot of experience.
For a few weeks, the persistence of “Sakhara” won the day. “Star” started to turn around and show her belly to “Sakhara”, while continuing to touch “Sakhara’s” face, indicating a desire to play. “Sakhara” would handcuff “Star”, and “Star” would still pat her face. “Star” was indomitable and persistent, at the same time she was ecstatic because she saw this as a form of play. Meanwhile, “Sakhara” told him: “That’s right. Show me respect and then I’ll play with you.”
Today, the 3 cats live together, play together, sleep together, and groom each other. There are no fights and no one was injured during the entire integration process.
By recognizing that cats communicate through telepathic messages, as well as body language, smell, and sound or vocalizations, I can ensure success.
Here are some tips to help you integrate a new cat into your feline family.
- Use telepathic communication at all times to ensure that everyone not only understands what is happening, but also listens and understands your perspective and your feelings.
- When you get older cats to buy the arrival of a new cat BEFORE that cat arrives, you have started the process in the most positive way possible.
- Whenever possible, telepathically introduce current family members to the newcomer before the new cat arrives.
- Make sure the needs and feelings of current family members continue to be considered and met. Give them lots of love and attention.
- Involve existing family members in decision-making about the integration process.
- Make sure everyone knows the “house rules” for acceptable behavior.
- Note that yelling, growling, hissing, and handcuffs are normal forms of feline interaction. Don’t try to stop it or you will confuse the cats. That can lead to real violence, which must be avoided at all costs.
- Let everyone know that you expect a happy, integrated family by keeping a strong mental picture of all the cats in one big pile, snuggling together and grooming each other. Remember that a powerful image is worth a thousand words. It may take months before you see this happen, but if you have that image very much in mind, you are communicating it to your cats.
- Accept that, under most circumstances, it can take up to 6 months to fully integrate a new member of the feline family.
- Stay positive. Check in with your existing feline family frequently.
Then take out the camera, keep calm and have fun!