Becoming Your Best Self – Coping With Change

Many wise men have said that “change is the only constant”. It is certainly one of the only three things we can count on in this life (death and taxes are the other two). However, what is really important in my opinion is how we deal with change, which says a lot about us. Like many things in life, dealing with change is something of an art form. The sooner we throw ourselves 100% into change, the more expert we become in life itself. Here are some suggestions to help you cope with the change in your life.

1. Be honest and admit that you probably wanted something to change.
For me, a key principle to becoming your best self and living your best life is to accept responsibility for everything in your life. That means you have to be honest and admit that, for whatever reason, you wanted the change you’re now dealing with. Of course, although most of us desire change, we focus on only one dimension to the exclusion of others. For example, we might want our boss gone without considering exactly what a management shake-up might mean for us and our jobs.

When we ask for change, we always assume that the change we want is in our best interest. The thing is, it IS always in our best interest, even if we can’t see it today. Simply being aware of that fact makes it much easier to accept responsibility for everything that happens in your life, and once you do, it’s much easier to feel solid, grounded, and empowered. We are not the ‘tumbleweeds’ of the song, but the mighty oak with strong roots.

2. Take a survey of past changes in your life with the benefit of hindsight.
Make a list with three columns. In column A, write down all the major changes or upheavals you have experienced in your life. In column B, write down all of your feelings when you are in the midst of each of those changes. In column C, however, be honest and ask yourself how well that change turned out. Not just the immediate impact, which was probably scary or negative in some other way. For Column C, you really want to reflect on exactly what part of you that you’re proud of came out of that experience. If you’re really brave, create a fourth column (Column D) and be brutally honest about whether you really would have stopped that change if you could.

As you review the survey you just completed, I think you’ll be surprised at how often the change you feared ended up being a positive factor in your life, one you’d repeat if given the chance.

3. From the list above, also acknowledge that you are, in fact, a tough old bird.
and you have already experienced many changes. Just like all the times before, you can come out the other side and be labeled a veteran survivor, which you already are. There is no change that you have not faced and moved on with your life.

4. In the immortal words of Nike, just do it!
In my life, there are many changes that I have wanted to stop, but important changes happen to us, whether we want it or not. At some point, it helps if you can take a deep breath and decide to “go with the flow.” The deeper you breathe and the more frequently you breathe, the more empowered you will be to accept change and the more you will be able to see the positive in it. Often, even when we have been begging for change, we go into resistance mode when it actually starts to happen, thus getting in the way of our own requested change. Fear is a natural response, but it doesn’t have to dictate our lives. Recognize that change is scary and keep those feet moving!