Small Talk Tricks

Small talk is polite conversation about trivial matters that usually does not involve much controversy. It’s unnecessary conversation that tends to fill a situation that seems awkward. These are things that don’t matter, especially between people who don’t know each other well. It revolves around topics like sports, the weather, current jobs, the latest gossip, or where a person lives. Sometimes it backfires in social unrest and feelings of loneliness. Small talk helps build one’s confidence so that they can start conversations, develop their social skills, and make connections.

Small talk is not only knowing what to say, but also what not to say (what to keep private). There are things that when they engage in small talk make you or the person you are conversing with feel uncomfortable. Some of the things that make small talk critical include;

Financial. Asking people you are meeting for the first time about financial matters is quite inappropriate. While it’s good to ask someone what they do for a living or the positive aspects of their career, it’s not appropriate to ask them about salary. Some people will find such a question intrusive and inappropriate.

Religion. It’s another sensitive and personal question to ask someone you’re meeting for the first time. Some may not like being asked which religion you belong to as they may think you fall on the opposite side, therefore they may take it as a discrimination question. It is also vital to know that some people do not belong to any religion, so such a question can be insulting. Questions about religion should be avoided during small talk.

Policy. Another area to avoid is politics. The problem is that you may not know who in the crowd has strong opinions. Avoid political questions unless you are prepared for a heated debate.

Sex. Asking questions of an intimate nature or talking about sex during small talk is highly inappropriate. When talking to strangers, stop making sexual advances or talking about sex openly. Such questions tend to make other people uncomfortable.

Death. Another worse topic to be avoided during small talk. When in the company of strangers, don’t bring up emotionally arousing or potentially upsetting topics. Some in the group may have lost someone close to them and when reminded of it, they may end up getting emotional about it.

Appearance/age. D.Don’t ask someone questions related to age and appearance unless you know the person well. It may seem quite similar to you, but it’s a hot topic for someone else. You are talking to a strange woman and you ask her if she is pregnant or why she looks so skinny or fat. You may not know the reason for the pregnancy, how thin or fat she is and this could leave you and her in an awkward position.

Joke offensive. You hardly know someone, you just met and you have started the silly pranks that you do with your best friends. Some people don’t like jokes. To be specific, avoid racist and sexist jokes, as they are offensive and can quickly end your conversation.

personal gossip. You can gossip about celebrities during small talk, but avoid gossiping about people you know personally. Gossiping about other people looks bad on you. On the other hand, you never know who you may meet. Stop talking bad!

Past relationships. On the first date, avoid talking about past relationships. Some people’s past can be painful, while others don’t like it when you tell them about how your ex used to do nice things to you. Talking too much about a past love or making comparisons is a turn off and a quick way to prevent yourself from getting a second date.

narrow topics. Don’t talk too much about one-sided topics. Be enthusiastic and watch for signs that he has lost interest and find a way to end it quickly. It is boring, for example, to go into too much detail about a movie, when some of the people have not seen the movie.

Those are some of the many things to avoid in small talk. They are critical and can end conversations quickly. However, don’t be afraid of the small talk. You must learn to overcome the fear of small talk. Below is a list of things that can make you manage small talk:

• Entertainment and arts: Arts and entertainment topics are good conversation starters. They may include; books, movies and TV shows, music, etc.
• Weather – As mundane as it may seem, it is a general topic that everyone can discuss. Practice small talk about weather issues or else you’ll find yourself in the middle of awkward silence with nothing to start with.
• News: Reading news and staying up to date on current issues is the best way to prepare for small talk. Be aware of what is trending in your country or city.
• Family: You will likely be asked about your family. Be prepared to answer such questions and also to ask them. This will help you learn about a person in a short period.
• Celebrity Gossip – It’s good to know a little about some popular celebrities in case the topic comes up. But unless everyone is talking about the celebrity, avoid being the initiator of such conversations.
• Hobbies: If you don’t have a hobby, consider having one, as people like to talk about their hobby and may be interested in learning about yours as well. Not only will it give you something to talk about, but you’ll also meet other people with similar interests to yours.