No Memory Tricks: 10 Simple Strategies to Remember the Names of Every Person You Meet

You are walking down the street and you meet someone whose name you should remember. You do not. She tries to get by with a warm greeting. It almost works. Then another friend joins them and waits to be introduced. You are embarrassed. The other person remembers your name; you have forgotten yours. He’s not sure if he just has a bad memory or if he’s showing early signs of senility.

If you want to build a memory for names, try these simple strategies—they’ll make a world of difference in your ability to remember names.

LOOK AT THE PERSON WHEN YOU HEAR THE NAME

When you meet a person, you often look elsewhere. If a third person is introducing you, you are usually looking at the person who is making the introductions or speaking. If a customer walks up to the counter she’s working at, she’s usually looking at the paperwork she’s just gathered. If you’ve just walked into a crowded room at a party and are being introduced to others, your attention is often “inside” your own head, focused on how you look.

Since memory is highly associative (one thing is linked to another), looking at a person when you first meet them helps you link the sound of the new name to the face. Then when you look at the face later, you’ll be more likely to remember the name.

MAKE SURE YOU HEAR THE NAME CLEARLY

Introductions are often rushed and names are mumbled or slurred. If this happens, ask the person to repeat their name. If you only hear a murmur, that is what you will remember. And, if after several minutes of conversation you realize you were too distracted to hear the name initially, ask again. You can’t memorize what you haven’t heard.

WHEN YOU HEAR THE NAME, REPEAT IT AT ONCE IN YOUR OWN HEAD

Your memory isn’t failing you, your memory is failing you.

Repeating a name increases your chances of remembering a name by 30 percent. If you remember repeating poems in grade school until you memorized them, you realize that repetition works. While something repeated once a day for eight days is generally remembered for months, something heard only once is at least two-thirds forgotten by the end of the first day. If you want to remember a name, at least repeat the name in your head when you first hear it.

IF THE NAME IS UNUSUAL OR DIFFICULT TO REMEMBER, ASK THE PERSON TO SPELL IT OR SPELL IT YOURSELF

Because visual information is easier to remember than auditory information, we often take a mental snapshot of a person’s name without realizing it. When you meet a person named Joe or Mary, your mind quickly “sees” “Joe” or “Mary.” However, when you meet a person with an unusual name like “Tanzeem”, your mind hears that the sound is difficult and does not take a snapshot. What he later remembers is not the name, but that the name was “different”.

Since you already tend to remember names visually, help yourself by spelling difficult names out loud or silently. Once you have seen the name of Mr. Tanzeem or Mrs. Ahnangatoguk in letters, it will be easier to remember. While the sound of the name may fade in the far reaches of memory, the spelling will remain.

SAY THE PERSON’S NAME OUT LOUD AT THE BEGINNING OF THE CONVERSATION

When you meet someone, you probably say “hello” and then give your own name. If you instead say, “Hi, Joe Banks, I’m Lynne Curry,” you’ll increase your chances of remembering the person’s name by 50 percent. Repetition out loud is even more effective than repetition silently because you are more actively working your memory.

USE NAME IN CONVERSATION

Using a person’s name in the first three minutes after meeting them increases the chance of remembering the name the next time you meet them. Repetition reinforces the link between the person’s face and her name.

Once you’ve practiced repeating the names of new acquaintances, you’ll notice that there are plenty of opportunities to use anyone’s name in conversation without it sounding strange. You will also notice that most people like to hear their own name.

USE THE NAME WHEN EXITING THE CONVERSATION

If you use the person’s name for the last time at the end of a conversation with them, for example, “It was nice meeting you, Joe,” chances are you’ll have the name in your memory for weeks.

SWITCH ON YOUR MEMORY BY MOTIVATION

If you’ve raised teenagers, you know many of them forget to do things you ask of them, but they can remember the names of everyone in a music group or the batting average of every player on their favorite team. We remember what we want.

So if you want to increase your chances of remembering something, start by considering why it’s important for you to remember it. The more attention you pay to what is going on around you, the more you will notice and remember.

WRITE THE NAME

Visual memory is stronger than auditory or verbal memory. If he ever made a list of items to buy at the store and left the list at home, he probably noticed that he could remember all or most of the items on the list. Simply writing down a name and looking at it will increase your chances of remembering the name.

GIVE MEMORY A CHANCE

When you meet a person weeks after the first meeting, give your memory a chance. We expect our memory to be instant. When we see a person for the first time, we expect the name to immediately come to mind.

Since memory contains a large amount of information, it takes several seconds for our minds to process many associations and come up with the correct name. If you expect an instant memory, your memory may seem to shut down as anxiety forms an infallible barrier that blocks memory. So, give your memory a chance.

Relax and think of anything you can remember about the person. The associated events and information help your sorting process, and by staying calm, you give your mental search process a chance to work. If necessary, you can buy time by clearing your throat, adjusting your glasses, or taking a deep breath.

TO REMEMBER

Would you like to be able to remember the names of the people you know? If so, look at people when you first meet them so you can later link the sound of their name to their faces. Make sure you hear new names clearly—you can’t memorize what you can’t hear clearly. Say the name out loud in greeting and in conversation if you can. If not, repeat the name to yourself. If the name is unusual, try spelling it. And finally, give your memory a chance to work and exercise it daily.