"The total agony of being in love" – Love actually
I remember a time not long ago when I was “totally in love” with this young woman to the point that it was agonizing. I consumed myself and meditated on her for long periods of time; Not many days went by that I didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about her, both unconsciously and consciously, I’m sure. It was distracting and paralyzing in hindsight. I’m sure everyone around me could see, but I was blind, or at least I thing be blind to that. The power of this ‘love’ was totally captivating and fascinating.
However, much later (two years after the day) I knew, or suddenly discovered, that I was not so in love, more totally infatuated – in love with the idea of being in love; the perception of how that might look; and silly to that end, as the dictionary meaning says: Obsession 1:make it silly :deprive of good judgment; 2: inspire with silly or extravagant love or admiration.[1]Such ‘love’ is clearly fanciful, not real, and therefore silly. But it is It seems true.
I remember recently revisiting “Love Actually,” the movie. It is such a good movie that it shows just some of the myriad emotions that go hand in hand with love. The multitude of different manifestations of love in the film range from betrayal, locked love, Colin’s lived sexual fantasy, to ‘real life’ love stories in the formation of a relationship between the British Prime Minister (played by Hugh Grant) and his junior assistant, Natalie, played by Martine McCutcheon, and also between Colin Firth’s character Jamie, and Aurelia, played by Lucia Moniz.
According to the movie Love actually, there is a mixture of many forms of love: love in politics (mentioned above); love as a second language: a wonderful comedy of errors that ends in marriage; love at work, that doesn’t work; love that lasts a lifetime and is never expected to end in a cheap “adventure”; love is elemental, and painfully, when you lose your life partner; love is unspoken – that love “locked up” by falling in love; and love that just “sways” in the words sung by Billy Mack (Bill Nighy).
The title quote: comes from the horribly awkward emotional turn of Liam Neeson’s character stepson (Sam); not so much of losing his mother, the predicted reaction, but of “being in love” with a twelve-year-old mermaid from school. And he tries everything to force his way into his heart.
And so it is for us when we find ourselves in the haunting reality of a “one-person core world.” It seems that each of us goes through a crush at least once. It stings us and sometimes cruelly. Would it have been better to be prepared to protect our thoughts and our hearts? Without a doubt, really.
There is a proverb that speaks powerfully of this errant theme of emotion: “Above all, guard your heart, for from it life flows.” (4:23) It may have a plethora more meaning, but at least it leans on this. We must be careful with our mind. We can be so easily fooled; then we are one step away from the enemy force invading our hearts.
However, life also goes on in the midst of all this.
Copyright © 2008, SJ Wickham. All rights reserved throughout the world.
[1] http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/infatuation