7 responses to “What makes a good friend?”

In one of Charles Schulz’s comic strips, “good old Charlie Brown” visits Lucy’s five-cent sidewalk psych stand. Totally despondent, Charlie tells his potential counselor, “I can’t help it. I’m lonely, depressed.”

“This is ridiculous!” Lucia insists. “You should be ashamed of yourself, Charlie Brown! You’ve got the whole world to live on!” She continues. “There is beauty all around you! No man walks the earth alone! We are all together!”

“You’re right, Lucy! You’re right! You’ve made me see things differently, now I realize I’m part of the world. I’m not alone. I have friends!”

Lucy quickly replies, “Name one!”

Everybody needs friends. Here are some ideas on what makes a good friend: how to develop and maintain meaningful friendships.

#1. What makes a good friend? Fidelity. Friends don’t abandon each other when times are bad.

One of the greatest friendships in the Bible was that of David and Jonathan. When Jonathan’s father, King Saul, hated David enough to kill him, Jonathan protected David. (Read the story in I Samuel 20:30-33.)

#two. What makes a good friend? keeping confidences. Friends don’t gossip.

As a friend you will know details and secrets of your friend’s life. Friends don’t gossip. Gossip is saying hurtful things about another person to someone who is not part of the problem or part of the solution. Friends know when to tell another person (such as in cases of abuse) and when to keep confidences.

#3. What makes a good friend? Generosity. Friends don’t walk away when their friend is in need.

We are all given the same amount of time, 24 hours a day. Even with our busy lives, it amazes me how many people have time to give to their friends. When my wife was sick for a long period of time, many friends helped us. They brought meals, ironed, ran errands, and prayed for us. Many hours were given. Didn’t they have anything else to do? Were your days empty? I do not think. They were acts of friendship.

#4. What makes a good friend? Sorry. Friends do not seek revenge.

Our human nature says: “Don’t be angry, take revenge”. Every friend is imperfect. We must be willing to forgive our friends, just as they have to forgive us.

#5. What makes a good friend? Bringing out the best in everyone. Friends don’t ask their friends to engage in bad behavior. They take care of each other.

On October 24, 2008, the Daily Mail (a British newspaper) stated that a female police officer was charged with theft and misconduct in public office after she allegedly abused her position to help her friends commit crimes.

This 26-year-old woman is said to have passed sensitive information from police computer systems to her boyfriend and others.

This is not the behavior of true friends.

#6. What makes a good friend? Tell the truth, even if it’s “bad news.” Friends don’t hide the truth to save the other person’s feelings.

A man saw a friend acting in a way that was likely to destroy his friend’s family. What would a friend do? In this case, he didn’t do anything because he didn’t want to lose the friendship.

True friends put the needs of a friend before their own need to maintain the friendship.

We all need someone to tell us the truth with love. It is difficult to grow without the help of our friends. It’s never easy, but when you need to tell someone the truth, use this approach: speak calmly, clearly, directly, honestly, and respectfully.

#7. What makes a good friend? Disinterest. Friends look out for the interests of others.

On August 5, 1936, in the Olympic Stadium in Berlin, the pole vault event had lasted longer than expected.

The final three competitors were Earl Meadows from the United States and two close friends from Japan, Shuhei Nishida and Sueo Oe. The bar was at 14 feet 3 1/4 inches, which Earl Meadows cleared on his second try. Nishida and Oe failed all three attempts. The two Japanese continued to jump for second and third place, but the competition ended without a conclusion when it became too dark to continue.

“Oe and I went back to the Olympic Village with the certainty that we had equalized, as we both jumped from the same height,” Nishida recalled. (At the time they didn’t have a tiebreaker rule.)

The officials decided to award the silver medal to Nishida. They never fully explained his reasoning. Oe was awarded the bronze. Nishida was not happy with the decision. When they returned to Japan, both Oe and Nishida decided to cut their medals in half. They then matched half of the silver medal with half of the bronze medal for each of them. The medals were called Medals of Eternal Friendship. What a selfless act on the part of a friend.

At the end of the day, what makes a good friend? Practicing the golden rule. Friends treat each other how they would like to be treated.

How can you be a good friend?